Snow Flakes
by DarkPhoenix1987
Summary: Katniss is on the street and selling herself for money to help her sister and fill her drug addiction. But when someone from her past shows up she has to learn how to deal with learning to let go of her demons and how to love someone who wants nothing more than to love you and to be loved in return. Can Peeta save her from the dark life she has been living in for so long?


Hey guys this is my new story. I was very inspired by some songs and that's how this whole thing came to life. I really hope you like it despite how dark it is.

Some of the songs that made me want to write this were:

The a team – ed sheeran  
Ride – lana dey ray  
Mine – glee cast  
Faster Than Cars Drive - Kate Tucker  
A Girl, a Boy, and a Graveyard - Jeremy Messersmith  
Locked Out of Heaven - Bruno Mars

I hope you all like it. I tried my best. Please review!

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The snowflakes fall onto the tip of my tongue as I breathe them in. Winter is always the worst to work. The wind blows right through you, freezing you down to your bones. Summer is the best. If you get too hot you can always take more off. That only helps show off what merchandise you're trying to move. When it's cold, you have to bundle up. Can't show off your body unless you want to get frost bite. A know a couple of girls who've tried to be sexy during the winter and paid the price. With the fall of the snow sets off my internal alarms. Now that it's getting colder the customers bundle up, which means they can easily be canceling a weapon. Wouldn't be the first time one of us got cut up from some psycho who wants to turn you into human bacon strips. A few cuts are the least of my worriers. The chills have begun to set in again but not from the cold weather. That sick feeling in the pit of my stomach had returned. It's been hours since the last time I used. I needed a fix, but I need some cash first.

It doesn't take long for a car to pull up to where I'm standing. I learn over to the passenger side window. The man inside is much older than I am, a fact I'm surprised by. His kind is the usual customers; old guys who either are on business or can't get it from their wives so they turn to the next best thing – a young girl willing to give up an hour or so of company for a price.

"How much for an hour of your time?" He asks.

I look around the car, taking in anything that would be out of the ordinary. I didn't see anything that could be dangerous but that doesn't mean he's not. He's an old man with a shock white hair and a long beard. There's a faint smell of roses coming from him. I feel a cold sweat starting to set in. I need this.

"Fifty dollars, no leaving marks, no rough stuff, just the normal stuff… and I need to see the money first." He pulls two twenties and a ten out of his wallet and hands it to me. I swallow my doubts, open the door and take the passenger seat. He puts the car in drive as we head to wherever he wants to go. From the look of his car I'm guessing it's a rental, he's here on business.

"I've never done anything like this before." He says, trying to find a cheap place where we can do this. I just nod as I warm my hands by the vent. I've heard that so many times, if anything he does this all the time.

"What's your name?"

"Everyone just calls me Mockingjay." I say. Never give out a real name; it's just a safety thing.

"Do you sing like a Mockingjay?" he asks, trying to break the tension or calm himself down.

"Not anymore."

He pulls into the parking lot of a cheap motel. It's one I've been too many times before. He runs in, gets the key and we head up to the room. It's dirty and used but that's something I've grown used to. I take a second to look at myself in the bathroom. White lips, pale face. I splash some water on my cheeks before I begin to strip down to my underwear. When I come out, he's taken aback but quickly catches on and undresses.

As he lays on top of me a does his business I wait for it to be over. How long have I been doing this? It seems like ages for such a short life I've lived. Eighteen years old and this is how I have to survive. But I have to; I have nowhere else to go. It's the only way I can do it for her. She depends on me. She needs me.

It doesn't take long for him to finish and collapse next to me. He's seems to have been pleased. To me, it's just another stranger who doesn't matter. Its takes him a few minutes but he gets up from the bed and goes into the bathroom to clean up. Without a second thought I pull on my clothes before he's done. I search through his discarded pants and find his wallet.

His driver's license says Coriolanus Snow and there's a sickening large amount of cash inside. I snatch an extra hundred dollars before putting the wallet back and leaving the room, back to the streets. At this point the withdraw symptoms are starting to kick in hard. My stomach was churning, begging for me to fix it, I was sweating like I was in an oven despite it being near freezing, and all my joints felt like they had arthritis in them they ached so much. Luckily he didn't live very far from here, it wouldn't be much longer.

**XXX**

When he opens the door I'm shaking and feel so weak I feel like I'm going to fall over. He smiles at me because he knows what I'm there for but also because some part of him misses me. He puts his arms around me and kisses me on the forehead feeling how sickly I'm becoming.

"Come on in Catnip, I got what you need." He pulls me into his apartment and sits me down on his couch. For someone so young, he has his life together pretty well. I met Gale a year ago when I was working the street after I had been beaten by an angry customer. He took me home and helped me get better, gave me something for the pain. We became best friends. I didn't understand it then but now I don't question it; maybe he just wanted to help me since I was in bad shape. He's always given me a place to stay when my landlord is looking for the late rent or when I need a quick fix. He lives so fine since he's a drug dealer. He taught me the ways of the street; what to look for, who to be careful around.

He comes back into the room with the little baggie of the off white powder.

"How do you want it?"

"I need it as fast as you can get it."

"Needle it is." He runs to the kitchen and gets a burnt spoon and a clean needle. I hate doing it by the vein but it's the quickest fix. It doesn't take long for him to cook it and suck it up in the sharp tip of the syringe. He takes my arms and ties his belt around it, taping it to get the vein to pop. I look away, I hate this part so much but it's needed. I feel the tiny prick as he pokes it into my skin. The pain only last a second before he plunges the drug into my blood and pulls it out. It feels so warm inside of me, swimming around like hot tar coursing through me. Gale knows the right amount to make me feel good without getting sick. As it runs through me I feel like I could fly away from all of this, to a better place.

I'm with her, my little sister Prim. We're together, in a field full of flowers, both of us wearing beautiful sundresses. The hot summer sun is beating down on us from above but it feels good on my skin, warming my bones. She takes my hand and we run through my flowers, kicking up the dirt and laughing as we go. Her sweet voice rings like a wind chime.\

"Can we stay here forever?" She asks as we both fall down into the soft grass.

"Of course we can," I answer as I pull her closer to me. "This is our own world and no one can tell us no."

I wake up out of my beautiful dream state, still on Gales couch. He's just sitting there watching TV. My head is pounding like someone is playing a drum in my skull. I sit up and look at the time; three a.m. I've lost several hours but it was necessary. All the shaking, the pains, the sickness, it's all gone for now.

"How much do I owe you?" I dig in my wallet.

"Fifty, but because it's you Catnip, only thirty." I toss him the money and get up to leave. "Hey, this is for the road." He tosses me a small baggie of the drug. "Next time don't let yourself go that long without it. Use it in moderation, when you really need it."

I thank it and leave. It's colder than it was in the evening. As much as I want to go lay down in my bed I know I won't be able to fall asleep. That dream struck me deep down inside. I need to see her. I know she's sleeping but I have too, it's been much too long since my last visit.

I catch the bus that will take me the closest to home. At this point in the night the bus is sparsely filled with a few people that get around at this hour of the night. It takes me forty-five minutes before I get out of the city and back to where she lives. It has to be near four a.m. at this point. My mother wouldn't be home, she should still be at the hospital working the late shift. From the bus stop it isn't a long walk. I freeze when I'm finally there. The house I grew up in. So many memoires rush back to me; us laughing and singing with our father before he died, my mother becoming a zombie after, me finally leaving to find a better way to take care of her.

The lights are out in the tiny shack-like house. I go to where my mother always hid the spare key – in the bottom of a gnome on the side of the house. When I walk in the warmth and smell hits me like a wave washing over me. Makes me miss this place almost enough to make me stay. But I know I can't. I make my way into her room, the room that we once shared. She is sleeping, looking like a perfect angel. My heart cries at the sight of her; I've missed her so much. Almost two months since I've been here last.

I sit on the edge of the bed and just watch her sleep. She has so much life ahead of her, so much to learn and so much to experience. I want her to do it right; grow up happy, go to college, find someone that will love her, get married, have a beautiful family. I want her have everything I can't. I lean over and place a kiss on her forehead. She begins to stir but doesn't wake up. I run my fingers through her beautiful soft hair. The tears begin to sting my eyes. I would do anything for her, to protect her from the life I've lived.

Before I finally leave as day begins to break I take out the extra hundred I stole from the old man and place it on her desk and left a small note.

_I love you_

With that I was gone without her ever knowing I was there. She can't know. If she did she would beg me to stay and I know I don't have the willpower to say no to her. It would break both of our hearts.

The sun is just creeping over the horizon when I leave and start to head back to the city. Standing at the bus stop could take a long time and I already am feeling that familiar urge in my bones. That itch that only one thing can scratch. I pull out the small bag gale gave me, pull a small amount on my finger and sniff it quickly. It's not much but it's enough to keep me at ease. I quickly put it away as a car pulls up. The young man inside looks at me longer than I like, it's almost unnerving. From what I can see, he is handsome. He just keeps looking at me. I turn my gaze away quickly as possible but it's not enough. His window rolls down and calls out to me.

"Excuse me?" I do my best to just ignore him but it doesn't detour him. "Excuse me." He says again in a sweet voice. I turn to face him; his eyes are huge and bright blue, ashy blond hair that falls in waves over his forehead, and pale skin like milk. For a second I am shocked someone so good looking is talking to me but I quickly regain my composer.

"What?" I answer him

"I'm sorry to bother," he sweetly apologizes, "But do I know you? You look very familiar." I study his face. He does seem familiar. I go into panic mode; is he a former customer? Can't be, not living out here. He must have been someone from my former life.

"Sorry, can't say that you do."

"You just look like someone I used to know." Now he was starting to aggravate me.

"Move on buddy. I'm not who you think I am." I snapped. I took a long gaze at me before rolling up his window and driving away.

**XXX**

By the time I get back home the world is alive again but I am drained. My apartment is small and dirty, my mattress in the middle of the studio apartment. It isn't anything I'm proud of but it gives me somewhere to go. But before I can get in my drunk of a landlord come stalking down the hallway.

"Everdeen, the rent is due and you're late." The closer he gets, the stronger the stench of liquor gets. It's amazing how even this early in the morning he has some kind of booze in him.

"I'm sorry Haymitch, I'll try and get it to you as soon as possible."

"You better, or you're out on your pretty little ass." He gives my ass a smack as he turns and heads back from the way he came. Haymitch is one of those guys who are nice when he's not drunk off his ass, which is rare in its self. He lets me slide on the rent if I give him a little something in return. I go inside and lay down on my bed. The small blanket gives very little protection from the cold weather seeping in. I curl up into a ball until I finally fall asleep.

XXX

The night is much colder than the last; I can see my breath in the air. As soon as I left the house I wish I had something warmer to wear but I know I don't. My stomach growls as I'm walking the street. The small amount of fast food I can afford keeps the pains away. But I don't have time to waste. I get back to my normal spot before long.

It's a slow night. This is the worst. I need money but when there's no one going to buy when you have, there's nothing you can do. Just when I was about to give up hope, a car pulls up. I put on my game face, ready for the first deal of the night. My mother always told me I had a chameleon soul. But when I get to the window my face is shocked. It's the boy from earlier. My heart felt like it was going to stop dead in the chest. He looks at me, his large blue eyes are filled with concern.

"Hi." He says.

"Sorry, nothing for sale tonight." I step away from the window and start to walk away but he jumps out of the car.

"Katniss, come back." That name stops me in my tracks and forces me to turn around. How does he know my real name? I rush back to him and push him into the car.

"How do you know my name?"

"Please, can we just talk?"

"You better start talking before I end you right here."

He picks himself up from the car. "I knew when I saw you today that I recognized you. We used to go to school together. Can we please just go somewhere and talk?" he's stuck a chord deep inside of me. I had been so careful, no one knew where I was, how the hell did he find me in less than a day.

"I don't have time for that."

"I can pay you, whatever you want. I just want to talk." I idea of getting money and not having to do anything was too much to pass up.

"You have an hour." I say before I get into the car. I'm going against everything I know. Never get in with someone you used to know, never trust young guys, and never let anyone know where you are. But he had already found me. When he got in the smell of bread filled the air. It made my stomach growl.

I looked around as he drove, he didn't seem to have anything in here that he could hurt me with but I wasn't letting my guard down. He went slow and looked me at me at every red light he came to.

"You're a lot skinnier than I remember." That's what happens when you don't eat I wanted to say but I bit my tongue.

"How did you find me…"

"Peeta. Peeta Mellark." He said. The name rang a bell in the back of my mind but it was all so blurry.

"How did you find me Peeta?" He came to a red light and he looked over at me.

"Well once I saw you on the corner back in the seams, I looked you up in one of my old year books. I knew your face right away. And I knew that the only bus from the capital comes here, I figured you have to be somewhere around there. I took a little bit of searching but I found you." I wanted his word to me creepy or angry and rough in some way but they were nothing but sweet.

"Why did you come looking for me?"

"Because I wanted to talk to you." He said matter-of-factly. "No one has seen you in two years, not since you dropped out, not since your father passed away." The words stab into my like knives. The thoughts of my father always made my skin swell into goosebumps.

"So what did you expect? You thought you would just come find me and you could see the train wreck that I am? Now you can go back home and tell everyone you said the girl who sells herself for money." I was angry. I was fine without looking back on my old life and here he was, tossing it back in my face. He went silent for a couple minutes; the tension in the air was heavy.

"I always had a crush on you when we were younger." He didn't seem fazed by what I had said before. "That's why when I saw you I couldn't believe my eyes. Everyone had different rumors about what happened. Most people just thought you killed yourself. I kinda always thought you were out there somewhere, living a life of adventure."

I felt guilty now. I pretty much just bit his head off but he was still treating me like I was just sitting there, hand folded in my lap like a good girl.

"I'm sorry. It's been a long time since I've really talked to someone normal."

"How did you even get into this? Selling yourself for money."

His hour was already up but a part of me didn't want to stop. "Pull over here, I'll tell you the whole story." The same motel I was at the other night. I run in and get a key with the few dollars left in my pocket. It doesn't take much for him to come to the room. When we get inside I sit him on the bed as I run to the bathroom. Taking a deep breath I begin to strip down to my underwear. When I come out, he looks me up and down.

"What are you doing?"

"You don't want to talk. Isn't this what you really want? To finally get with the girl that you been crushing on for so long?" I slither over to him and straddle his lap and I kiss his neck. But he stops me, pushes my shoulders away.

"I told you I just want to talk." Now I really feel embarrassed and stupid. I put my clothes back on. I want to rush out of the room with my face in my hand but I know he would stop me if I tried so I sit next to him and do something I haven't done in a long time. I let my armor down.

"After my dad died my mother became catatonic. She wouldn't do anything; just sit there in silence, almost like a zombie. It wasn't long before I had to do something to get money. You think the first time you do it you'll never do it again but you keep doing it because it's so fast and easy. You don't have to work long hours for minimum wage. You work an hour for what you make in an entire day. But I couldn't do it around Prim. She was too young, she wouldn't understand. So I left. And two years later, here I am. Still doing what I can to get by."

The way he looks at me makes me uneasy. It's not because he looks at me as some sex toy or a piece of ass. He looks at me with compassion and understanding. It something I haven't seen in a long time.

"You know if you ever need a place to go, my house is more than open for you. If you ever want to get away from a while.

I just start to laugh. "There's no getting away. This is my life now."

He doesn't argue with me, he just listens and looks at me with those eyes and makes my heart race. We talk through the night until we both fall asleep. When I wake up, the sun is pouring in through the blinds. He is nowhere to be seen but in his place is a small note and five-hundred dollars.

_You are better than this. I hope this is enough to get you by for a while. Peeta._

I take the money and leave the room. When I get back I give Haymitch the money I owe him. For the first time in a long time I feel some kind of spark inside me, like someone just relit my pilot light. The tiniest flicker of hope has returned.

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Well that was awesome. I hope to update soon. Until then, please review.


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